In the past 10 years the things I’ve learned, one single most valuable lesson was: you can do everything and will still find it impossible to chase after people who doesn’t want to be chased. You cannot pursue or go after people who keeps on running away from you. If they dont want to fit you on their lives, in spite and despite of everything, you wont fit. They will never have lack of excuses, rather finding ways. Sadly!
You think I’ve learned this from one fallen relationship? Nah! I’ve learned this from those few people who has graced their way into my life, only to leave after quite some time. I’ve learned this from those who had won my heart and attached my soul to theirs, only to leave like nothing happened, like it wasn’t such a big deal that I have invested so much of myself, my time, in them. I’ve learned this from so those people who built strong relationships with me, only to build stronger walls against me. I’ve learned this from so those people who walked in, only to walk out when things got tougher telling me that time could fix shit. Pathetically!
Let me tell you, it will hurt. It will hurt real bad. Like the world is breaking up with you and the waves are surging and you have no choice but to drown. It hurts. But one thing is for sure, you are firmer and greater than this. You’re resilient enough to pull yourself together and bold enough to let go. Let them go. I repeat, let them go. Remove the shackles and the chains and just allow them the space they need, allow them to fly.
Because if people want to stay in your life and you do too, then both of you will make an effort on trying to keep each other. Both of you will go the extra mile. You will not let the relationship slide, you will do things to keep each other, you will reach out and FIX what needs to be fixed. You will not allow time to fix it because you both know that time cannot fix shit. Time cannot fix anything. You will not allow absence because you know it won’t make the heart grow fonder, it will just make the heart forget.
If the person and the relationship is really worth it, then both of you will save the relationship, save the person. And if that’s not their decision, please, let them go. Those who are meant to stay will find their way to stay. Let go. And as you allow them the space to be who they want to be. You need to breathe and rest in the fact that you cannot KEEP everyone you love. Some connections will really fall apart, friendships will crash, people will outgrow each other, and that’s just how life is.
Above all this, know that you will grow and you will evolve and you will find your people and you will craft relationships that will last longer than you lost. Someone out there somewhere will still find ways to fit into your life and have you fit into theirs. Someone who would not make excuses but will find ways!