“Busy” Is a Myth

It’s June 26th 2020, a slightly less hot Friday night, and I was wondering about my weekend plans. And suddenly quite unintentionally I started to take a walk to my memory lane. Nothing saddening (I am well moved on), it was just a quick flash back of people I loved and lost in my past. So I wanted to share my simple analysis of few things I wanted others to know, so we all can avoid complications in life, specially love-life. And, a single most common complication we all have in a relationship is setting up the priorities right. based on my personal experiences, sometimes wrong setting up of exceptions, or an incorrect assumption of how important a person would be in your plate could eventually cause a total closure of a relationship. Sometimes if we fail to understand where we stand into someones life, we would eventually find something unexpectedly heartbreaking at the end. So Understanding and setting up priorities right could actually play a good role for a long lasting, successful love-life. And, let’s discuss the things you should do as part of your foremost liability as someone’s partner.

Our lives would always be busy, and we all know that. Our Work, laundry, dinner and social app addictions, would take more time than they should. If we include our hobbies, friends, family, kids and pets, and everything else in between and, it is no wonder why our relationships can take the back seat to the fast pace of life. But, I always believed in the quote “let love be the highest goal” and For many (most, I hope) their relationship with their partner is their number one priority, it is right up there with dogs because, well, I live in Seattle. Even though relationships top the list of priorities, sometimes the time and effort dedicated to them don’t line up with that. So take note: Making your love a priority should not be something you do when you have time for it; it needs to be something you make time for.

Looking over schedules and trying to find time to pencil each other in might not sound like your idea of romance, but I would encourage you to work ‘making your love a priority by any means necessary’ into how you define romance. Asking your partner what they are doing over the weekend or if they are free to hang out next Saturday shouldn’t feel strange or taboo. So take note: Being intentional and showing your partner that you want to spend time with them instead of it feeling like a fallback or status quo can make a huge difference.

I am sure the reason someone choose us for a long term relationship, is not just because of who we are, but also because of all the good times and memories we made, that closely attached us together. We invest and insert efforts to create the bond. Unfortunately, I experienced, some people often trade in their dating life for routine (work, family, hobbies and so on) and then later wonder where the romance and passion has gone. As time passes, the amount of investment and efforts slowly decreases and that’s BIG problem. Always remember, the less time you invest, the more chances that the love will expire sooner than expected. It is not easy to maintain constancy, but its extremely important that we don’t make excuses but we find ways to be consistent. A relationship is live a Jet plane, if you don’t refuel, it will ultimately crash. And take note: If you feel like you haven’t been able to keep a consistent date night, well then it might be time to make your love a higher priority.

Another thing I learned was about remembering events. If something is important we don’t usually forget it. such as a Job interview, we would never be late or forget about it. So, if someone is important in your life, make sure you keep track of important events and never miss it. If you have trouble remembering to do something sweet for your significant other, or maybe you recognize that you are in a busy season of your life, then there should be no shame in setting reminders on your phone, or in your planner to make your love a priority. Reminding yourself to write a card, buy flowers, schedule a date, or to even tell your partner how much you appreciate them, can do wonders for your relationship. So take note: Being spontaneous can be fun and is important to a relationship, but being intentional is what lasting relationships are built on.

Lastly, also don’t forget the saying “No money, No honey”. It is very important that we re-prioritize our finances to express their personal priorities. Often people who believe they can’t afford dating do not recognize the things they are prioritizing over their relationship. Think about it, If you can afford Netflix, cable TV, internet, cell phones, Lazada into your monthly allotment, why can you can budget for a date night. We will always have the money for dates, it is a priority. Historically, my technique was, I set my dates close to paydays to make sure I wont have any issue with it.

Now let’s talk about something equally important in a relationship, but not fully within your control. So that would be, understanding how big is your share in the plate of your partner. The girl could be everything you even wanted, but if she has too much in her plate, statistically the relationship will fail. Sooner or later you will find out all your thoughtful efforts will never be reciprocated. I know that’s unfair, but what fair would be you predicting such unforeseen situation ahead of time and setting up your expectations correctly. I am not saying you should give up, I am saying you must not expect what is not realistic. So take note: Foreseeing future, making logically close assumptions of where you would be in 3-5 yrs time with that relationship is very important part of ultimate success, in your one true love-life.

That would be all for tonight, I hope my perspectives would help someone better understand a few things we should consider for a fairy tale love-life, a happy ending story we always wanted. All the best to all of us!