In the past few years, I’ve been interacting with thousands of people over social/dating/chatting apps. Sometimes for an hour, sometimes day or two, sometimes for a week, sometimes for months. I’ve spent so much time wondering if the person I’m talking to is interested in dating me or not. Yeah, they might like talking to me, but do they really like me?
I’ve found myself thoroughly confused by the way in which some people I have talked or meet expressed (or didn’t express) themselves. I was always left guessing about their intentions.
So when I found someone who was super into me and super open about the fact that she was into me, I thought, wow. Why can’t we all be like this? Why can’t it be this easy all the time?
The simple answer is: It should be. If someone is interested in you, you’ll know.
If you can’t tell if someone is interested in dating you, if they’re being noncommittal, or otherwise absent in regular communication — they’re probably not looking for a relationship. They might like you and think you’re attractive, but they’re not interested in building anything serious with you. The ones who are — you’ll be able to tell because they’ll make it known.
They show up for you — literally and physically, but they also support you emotionally. They will check your facebook my day and wonder about what you posted. They will ask questions and They will make an effort to get to know you. and They will talk to you on a regular basis. They’ll be open with their affection and their interest. They pursue you. and Note: They will go out of their way for you.
Those things are all obvious. But you’d be surprised at how often you settle for less when you’re lonely. Hmmm…
Now for a lot of people I can be quite intimidating. I know I can be snob time to time. but If they want to make a move but are too nervous, I can and would make them feel comfortable enough to tell me that. Hopefully, after being around me more, they’ll relax and eventually open up. Lol.
Just a suggestion! If you’re the person who is interested in me but you don’t know what to do about it, say something like, “Hey, I like you, and I’m not great at communicating my interest, but I am interested.” Or, “Hey I’m interested in you and I’m not always great at showing that. Be patient with me and maybe help me out a little bit.”
It’s okay to admit you don’t know what you’re doing and it’s okay to ask for help expressing yourself, or expressing yourself in a way they can relate to and understand.
Not everybody is going to be communicative, but wouldn’t it be so much easier if they were? Let’s normalize communicating about how we’re bad at communicating. People will follow your lead — if you’re open and straightforward with them in admitting your awkwardness or shortcomings, they’ll likely try to do the same with you.
I believe: If someone is into you, they’ll step up and let you know. In their own ways – Keep eyes and ears and the mind open. and Let’s Wait for the person who’s willing to do the same for you. Wait for the person who is interested in you and freely expresses that. Wait for the person who is just as excited about you as you are about them.I want to believe: They do exist, I promise. And you deserve to meet them. Cheers!