Insights – Dating A girl

Although it still exists, the pay gap between men and women is narrower now than at just about any time in history, and there are more and more opposite-sex couples in which the woman is the one bringing home the bacon. The country where I live, A big portion of mothers were the sole or primary breadwinners, and wives out-earned husbands in an unpredictable percent of straight marriages!

Well, kind of. Because while we’d like to believe that a woman earning more than her male partner isn’t a big deal these days, it does flip traditional gender dynamics on their ear, which can still cause some anxiety. Straight marriages were inherently transnational for much of human history. Women often chose or were forced to marry whoever had the best financial prospects (which might be one reason I am still single lols), at which point they became the literal property of their husbands. This was, of course, wildly unfair and sexist. It also placed pressure on men to be providers (in most cases), and largely reduced their social worth to their financial success, sadly.

Having a wife or girlfriend who earns more can have a debilitating effect on a man’s psyche and the relationship itself. Straight couples have less sex and are more likely to get divorced when the wife earns more. To better understand how this relationship dynamic affects men, Let me share a story I read online of whose wife or girlfriend earned more money than they do and how that eventually became a tragedy.

Lets read a short story of Kyle: Years ago, I dated a woman who made much more than me, and it caused us to break up. Not because of the emotional toll it took on us, but because she wanted to have a family, and I wasn’t making enough yet. I started working at a daycare after I graduated from high school, and met a mother of one of the kids there. I was 19 and she was 25. She was much further along in life than me. She was a single mom, with a college degree and a job as a nurse practitioner. I, on the other hand, made minimum wage and didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. She made significantly more money than I did, and honestly, I didn’t think much about the income disparity at first. We were only dating, so we kept our finances separate.

But I was intimidated whenever she took me out on a date. When she was paying, it was no holds barred. We’d go to a nice restaurant and a museum. Whereas my idea of a fancy date was Olive Garden and a movie. Eventually, the income disparity broke us up. We were in two different stages in life. She was well-established in her career and looking for someone to start a family with, and I was considering joining the Army. If things had gotten serious between us, I wouldn’t have been able to hold up my end of the relationship financially. She looked at the situation practically and said, “I hate to do this, but …”

But it helped me grow. My current girlfriend is studying to be a doctor, and I work as a field service engineer. So for right now, I make more than her, and I pick up the majority of our expenses. But I consider it an investment, because I know she’ll end up making more in the long run. and we will have wait and see how that goes …

Anyways, So now lets get back to our discussion and  let me share some insights. Since I was hoping to date a girl who is a regional manager of a very well knows real estate company here and most possibly earns more than I do, I was interested in calculating the risks and perks. after all I am not trowing myself to someone who’s going to treat me the way I might regret investing my time. If you are the girl I would be dating in near future please note: your designation wont impress me.  I don’t ever judge people by their educational attainment or how successful are they in their work life.  If you are successful – Cheers I would take the pride but I grew up in a culture where I learned to keep love life separate from profession goals.

Thanks for reading. Sorry I had to cut it short for today. If this was sort of helpful, you may share it to the person who matters. You can also send your ideas and suggestions by clicking the contact button.

Safin
June 12 / 2018

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